Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
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No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
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The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
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