Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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