He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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