I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
