I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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