Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Operation Purity has been aborted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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