And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
