WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
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