it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
