So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
