like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
