I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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