You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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