I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
