and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Randomize
