in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
