I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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