my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
