I'm really into asian looking animals
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
my sisters under your porch take her home
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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