All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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