She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
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It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.