woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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