Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
