Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize