Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
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