For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
