you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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