Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
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