wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
