why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
