Do you still have your period?
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
