I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
