hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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