I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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