Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
