So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
