her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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