We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
