who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Randomize
