Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
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