im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
