i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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