I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize