I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
