You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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