Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I look better un-naked...
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Randomize
