margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
