Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
he was CRYING into my vagina
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
