you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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