You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
