as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
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