I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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