Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
