I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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