Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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