Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
