i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
