I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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