How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Randomize
