Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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