Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
