So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
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I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
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Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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