There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
It was like getting head from an anaconda
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Randomize
