I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
