the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
