How'd it feel making her break her religion?
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
