I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
where are you?
Hypothermia
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
